A Pity Party!

 

      Just wanted to drop in and say Hi! How is everyone? I've been feeling sorry for myself, so much has hit me this year and seems to keep piling up. Life is unpredictable, emotions are unpredictable, I want control even when I know I'm not in control, circumstances happen and so many more reasons. Yet, sometimes its not just that I feel sorry for myself in which God will remind me of others that have it a lot worse than I do. It's that feeling when something just breaks within myself, my personality changes from being friendly and talkative to one of quietness and the desire to not let myself get close to anyone. It's fear, if I let it take root then my heart fills with bitterness,  I build a wall so I can't be hurt by others and circumstances. But, see I don't want that wall around my heart nor do I want it filled with bitterness. So, how do I cope with it? You see, this has been a struggle for 15 years. 

      I've noticed that when I feel broken and get depressed then my eyes and my focus are not where they should be "On God". I notice my daily time in prayer and in His word decreases. Why? I'm focusing on myself. I notice my anxiety and stress levels rise. Why? I'm not trusting and depending on Him that He already knows whats going on and He's got it covered. I notice that when I'm focusing on me, my old nature rears its ugly head. Why? Fear. Fear is a paralytic. Fear and Faith can't not co-exist and there is a battle raging within me to choose Faith and be free from fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of the future, fear can enter in a millisecond but I can't let it take root. 

How?

 By praying asking God for His help!

Spend more time in reading and studying His word! (spending less time on my phone and                                                                             more time diving into His word.)

Remember that even if I don't see God working in my life doesn't mean He isn't

To cultivate relationships with a few people I can trust to be a real friend, confidant, sister-in-Christ so that we can pray for each other.

Remember that God loves me! 

To look for ways to serve Him that brings Him glory!

Do you struggle with this? How do you cope? Anything else I can do to deal with this that brings God glory? Please share your answers.

One of my favorite stories in God's Word is found in 2 Chronicles 20: 1 -30. Take time to read it, its an awesome story of God's power! 

I especially love is verse 15, the latter part of the verse!

"This is what the Lord says: Do not be afraid! Don't be discouraged by this mighty army, for the battle is not yours, but God's."

I take great comfort in knowing the battle is not mine, It is the Lord's!

Blessings,

Karen